Do I really have to eat this?

The first struggle kicked in. No, not cravings, not eating to much or being hungry, but not being in the mood to eat at all. I am sure we all have our days where you are just not hungry or want to eat everything in the fridge. The really hard part is trying to eat 5 meals and all you want to do is say no thank you. (I do have manners sometimes). I have had a few days of not being hungry at all.

This is a problem as you need to eat to get your energy up and not feel sluggish or weak. I have been feeling horrible due to fact that I have not been able to finish my meals and skipping out on lunch. The snacks are great as they are small portions and keeps you going until your next meal. So the big question is what the heck do I do when I am feeling well “not so hungry”?

It is actually simple, just eat your food and shut up. It might sound a bit harsh on myself, but if I want the best results at the end of the month or to feel okay to work, that is simply how it will be. I am guilty, I will not lie, I have skipped those lunches for the last 2/3 days and today I felt so bad when I woke up. The really fun part, I had to go shopping for the weekly groceries.

I came home and ate my food once I was done. Struggle and all, I already feel so much better. I do love myself a fruit or two now and then, but to eat this everyday is not my exact favorite thing to do. As I am not consuming any artificial sugar or a lot of carbs and fats, this has affected my mood and of course my health.

Even though I do feel wonderful compared to 2 months ago, skipping that meal or snack is not giving me the lovely feeling I have been getting use to. I have also been lets call it researching a lot of dieting and healthy eating tips and all of these amazing “guru’s” have said do not skip your meals.

The diet I am currently on, gives you the right amount of nutrition to help you loose those extra kilos, as it is low in calories and to give you the energy to comfortably go about your day. Even to hit the gym and do an intense workout.

My brain decided that I did not need to eat the fruit for lunch and I skipped it right to my soup (snack time). It made me full, but what I was forgetting is that those fruits have the sugar I need to basically not faint when I am walking around. Unfortunately I am  one of the unlucky girls, who gets dizzy and nauseous when I do not consume some type or kinds of sugars for to long.

One thing I do know is that all these “guru’s” and dietitians love to advise, is always do not eat too much fruit. This is where the confusion kicks in and even though I fall in the group of over curious people, this did not make to much sense to me over the last few years or made me curious enough to ask why. I simply did not give a hoot.

Now that I looked up everything I could about fruit and sugar, I am 200% sure I will find more, but now I understand the basics of what kinds to avoid and what I should eat more of. Lesson learned.

So here is my lunch down below. “Oh and a little tip from me to me. Buy different kinds each week Bibi. You will not get bored of eating those bananas and apples”.





One Month down…

It has been one crazy start to my journey. Healthy living is incredible and I forgot how good healthy food taste. I did my weigh-in today and lost a total of 6.7 kgs. That is about 14 pounds and it just sounds much better than a few kilograms. I still have such a long journey ahead of me, but this is one that I am ready to walk. Even if I have to crawl my way through this, I will get to the end somehow. I have given myself 3 months to reach my first goal of 20kgs or more. My birthday is 2 months away. Hopefully another 14 kgs will be gone by then.

It is not a race that needs to be finished by then and loosing slowly is not a problem this time around. As long as there is some results at the end of each month I will be a very happy girl. Today was not a shocker as I have done weight loss programs and diets before. They worked well, but picked up the weight every single time. Reason for that is simple, I deprived myself from enjoying my food and getting my body use to eating healthier options.

The biggest question is always the simplest one. Why did I do this? Well, my doctor told me that I had to loose some weight. I have been suffering and no not struggling, I really mean suffering from backaches, tiredness and a closet full of clothes that don’t fit. Even my “fat” clothes were starting to get too small for me. When I got on the scale and it hit a number that was 15kgs more than what it was at my “biggest” back in the day, I knew it was time. It took me a while, exactly a year to get my mind on track. Yes, a whole year to realize that I had to make a change to my health.

As I said health, not weight and that is the difference between now and then. When I was 19 I lost over 20kgs, that is over 40pounds. I looked and felt great, but I never did it for myself. I was just embarrassed to be big and hated that I was not like the “skinny” girls. I did it for attention and not the good kind. I honestly just wanted to feel wanted. I did enjoy looking amazing for about 2 years and unfortunately I allowed circumstances to get to me and it all crawled back slowly. Three years passed and I gained all of weight that I had lost.

I did not cry about this or felt sorry for myself. I just didn’t care at all. I gained confidence as well. I was big and beautiful, but again things happened and more weight piled on. After my parents divorce it got a little crazy and I drank more and ate everything wrong for my body. I basically did not see a salad without something fattening in it. It was ruining my confidence, I didn’t care about doing my hair or wearing any makeup. I dressed poorly and hoodies became my best friend.

As much as I still had fun, flirted and got attention, thank God for boobies. It was not enough to make me happy. More things went wrong as now my job was getting to me. Shifts started dragging, I’ve always had a strong work ethic, however it didn’t stop them from demoting me back to my previous position. I hated every single day of the last 2 years. Now you will think that weight loss won’t make you happy. Of course it can. It is not about going to the mall and fitting into that smaller size jean or finding a top that doesn’t suck the life out of you. In one month I felt something change and that was me.

My body is looking different, but you would think that is the happiness I feel and it is not. Now for the second question. So what changed? Here is the interesting part, I still dress poorly. With reason I may add. I am hiding my weight loss so that I can come out with a big bang. Might as well surprise people and have fun with it. The change is simply me. My mind is more clear, I started taking good care of my skin, my hair is growing and looks healthier. I make sure my skin gets hydrated with water and lotions. I started doing things I wanted to do. I quit people I was trying to impress, I wake up easier and best part, my back is not killing me anymore. Those are just the simple changes and I feel better each day. The added bonus, I am 6.7kgs down.

What have I being doing to loose a few pounds? You can read my last blog post on the first week here. Fit and Healthy? I started with the 28 day diet, but stopped at day 20 as I couldn’t handle the headaches and sick feeling anymore. The last 10 days I went back onto the Medi-shape diet. This is much more healthier and easier to follow. I just didn’t take the Vitamin B12 injections and Vitamin pills. I lost about 2kgs in that time. I didn’t go to gym as much as I wanted to either. Probably would’ve lost a lot more weight if I did, but I didn’t want to push my body over it’s limit. Working shifts also works against me, but I still did crazy good with all the obstacles.

Now my diet is simple and easy. In the mornings I eat my cereal with low-fat or skim milk. Snack on either provitas or cracker bread with a little cream cheese (low in carbs). I then eat 2 portions of fruit for lunch. I usually just have bananas on its own or with pineapple. A cup of homemade soup for another snack. This is great as it winter in South- Africa at the moment. For dinner one small potato, 2 cups of veggies and one large salad. I have not been eating meat the last 10 days and ate minimal meat during the first 20 days as well.

I am cutting out as much meat as possible for now so that my body can get use to a more plant based diet. I start eating small portions of meat tomorrow, I will include this into dinner. I will stick to fish or chicken only for now. I know if you do training you need protein and carbs for energy, but I do know my body by now. I can actually eat more fruits and veggies, this still gives me the energy to workout for 1-2 hours.

Gym is now one of my favorite activities to do. I am beyond happy to be able to say that. It is easier to do if you cut out going out and giving your body time to rest and recover. Do I miss going out every time I am off? Honestly, no. I am enjoying the time I spend to get to know myself again. I am working on my mental health as well. I believe the body and mind needs to detox and diet together.

So why am I writing about my experience and documenting it? It is to keep myself inspired. It is just an added bonus if someone else gets inspired from this. I have always wanted to start a blog, so why not now? It was the perfect time to get my creative juices flowing, now that I am taking a break from photography work.

Now there was one thing that was really interesting about the last month. It was people’s reactions. Half of the people are excited for me, even a little inspired and the other half keep saying I thought you were happy with being a big girl. There are many saying you are beautiful just the way you are. Now lets get one thing straight, I love myself at any size, but if your physical and mental health is affected by being over-weight, then you need to make a change. I am not saying I have to look like the fitness models I love to follow, but to be a bit smaller and being able to take one flight of stairs without wanting to faint. That is pretty much my goal in life right now.

That is another reason for not wanting to see people right now, it is the comments of your so called “friends”. I prefer to stay away from as much people as possible, this is just my way of not getting people into my head. I am not a weak person or normally allow anyone to get inside my head, but I am vulnerable at the moment, if I can call it that. This is the best advise I can give anyone taking on this kind of journey and that is to spend some time alone.

Other things I have done was to hide away the scale. I have no idea where it is and for once I am not obsessing over my weight each day. Put that crying baby away and rather do a weekly or monthly weight-in to see your results.

I am excited to see what the next few months have in store for me. Everyday is one day closer to each goal I have set for myself.



Fit and Healthy?

Week 1 done and dusted. It has honestly been amazing. Gone to the gym 5 days straight and it ain’t easy. I am on day 8 with the 28 Day diet. We are suppose to do a weigh in and check our measurements today but decided it will be best to wait till the end of July. Hope it will be a nice surprise at the end of the month.

So I waited for payday and joined the gym. I know most people say that they will stick it out and then stop after a month or two, however being a queen of saving money, this is my way of staying focused. You just don’t waste money.

We started the 28 Day diet on the 25th of June and the first few days was a struggle. On day 8 now and it’s getting easier everyday. Some of the food we have to eat are the basics of losing weight and for a healthier lifestyle.

  • Tuna and chicken salad
  • Veggies
  • Fruits
  • Special K
  • 2% milk
  • Soup
  • Eggs
  • Yogurt
  • Etc

These are just some of the yummy food we get to eat.

Now once the 28days are over we will stick to healthy eating and follow the basics of this diet. I always believe that these diets only work wonders the first time you do it. It was only to get things started and to get my metabolism working again.

I honestly don’t believe in only eating 3 meals a day. Best way for me has always been 5-6 small meals daily. This keeps me more motivated and I won’t be praying time will fly so that I can eat again.

Last thing I did was spend a little extra money on some gym clothes. I understand why so many gym “junkies” spend all their money on gym outfits. Besides that it’s ridiculously comfortable and great quality, it also makes your time at the gym much more easier.

Mr. Price Sport has always been my go to store for gym clothes if I ever needed it. Now back in the day I was not that motivated as I am now, so this store will be seeing me more regularly. They are affordable and always have specials going on. By the way those pants are to die for. They are R199.99 and I want more. Did not want to buy to many things, because when I loose those kilograms they will get too big. So monthly tests are happening with trying on clothes as well.

So far I feel great and sleeping much better than before. Working shifts have always been my biggest issue. It messes up your routine and does not allow you to loose as much as you would’ve with a routine. I am not loosing hope and will fight through it. It is not about looking great this time around, but about being healthy and active.

Wish me luck.


Let’s scream The Body Shop

I might not be the best at skincare, but since I started using The Body Shop products I have found skincare heaven. The products are at a good price and best part it is cruelty free. 

I started buying this about 8 months ago and first two products was from the hemp collection. Body and face cream. Myself and my mother have been using this product especially because hemp seeds is a natural ingredient and has received positive feedback for years. It keeps my skin hydrated and I love the fact that it is not oily like so many products.

I avoided any kind of oils and creams as I hate the feeling of it on my hands. Been this way since I was a tiny human. 

We both have sensitive skin when it comes to anything to do with skincare. Scented products especially. I have used many products before as a teenager mainly for the price as it was very affordable. Now they are great for you as a teenager, but as an adult I had to make a change. 

As this line of products don’t have facial wash, scrubs, etc I moved over to the tea tree products. The reason I love it so much is based on the fact that I suffered at 16 with acne. It only lasted about 3months. Yes only roughly 3 months as my lovely grandmother gave me this no name bottle of tea tree face wash. This is now 10 years ago and my face cleared up within about 3 weeks. 

Amazed I kept using this product, but was never able to find it again. All I remember back then was that lovely smell. I eventually forgot all about this amazing face wash and tried a bunch of expensive products when I started working. Yay we finally had some money to spend, but I gave up as it made my skin itch and feel extremely dry. Positive part though, my acne never came back. Just the normal monthly issues.

After the discovery of the hemp products I finally had the guts to walk into The Body Shop. It is still overwhelming to see so many skincare products, but I walked in with attitude and got greeted by amazing and friendly staff.

I got some more body and face cream. Walked over to the tea trea products and then that smell. I just knew that I found it. After 10 years of wishing I could find it again, it was in my hands and ready to take my money. 

I still struggle to keep up the routine. If I do skip a few days and my skin breaks out, the products clears it up. I will probably from now on only buy my skincare products from The Body Shop. 

Next I will love to try their face masks, hair products and makeup. As a girl on a seriously strict budget, I don’t mind splurging on these. It lasts long, smells great and the products actually work. Don’t forget cruelty free. 


Hotel Living

What a much needed break to spend a night at the lovely Canal Quays at the Waterfront. We only went to visit our friend whom surprised us with her engagement news. So lovely to see people so happy. We ended up staying over and I could simply not fall asleep as I discovered Netflix. So with little sleep and way to much pizza it was one of my favorite days so far this year.

Even the construction across from the hotel wasn’t disturbing me at all. The weather was amazing, even though I am praying for some rain. We really need it. First things first a selfie had to be taken as we arrived just in time for sunset. 

I am still as I am writing this blog post feeling much more relaxed and stress free, even if it is for a little while. 

Mornings are for coffee and I myself might not be the caffeine queen, but make it a filter coffee and you will have me fighting for one cup. Hold the sugar, I am still on a diet and luckily enjoy the taste of Nespresso.

I got to enjoy the view as well and enjoy my bad habit of a few cigarettes. I hope I will toss it away soon and live a healthier lifestyle. 

Lastly I felt like the queen with breakfast and champagne. The perfect ending to my future goals.


Make a Wish

Best thing I have found in the last few months? Oh why yes it is a app called Wish. Online shopping for way less than the original price. Even though it takes forever to get here in South Africa and it is “fakeup”, my life has been made easy and exciting. Been such a lovely experience to almost get daily gifts in the postbox.


Huda Beauty has been one of my favorites the last few months when I learned that there are more makeup brands than Camera brands. Above is the Huda Liquid Matte Lipstick. This one is called Famous. Not the exact color, but still amazing and sticks on those lips for the whole day. I also have trendsetter that my gorgeous mom has stolen the second I opened the package. I will admit that it is her color and is just as amazing. Both the lipsticks cost about R45/ $3 each including shipping. The Lip liner was about R30/ $2.


I have ordered more of the Lime Crime lipsticks. The top one is called Gemma, not as pigmented as I would have liked it to be, but it shimmers and it’s pretty. The Color is more like Asphalt of the Tragic beautiful collection. Also only cost me R30/ $2 and that is including shipping. I have ordered more to see what the rest look like.


Now for some Kylie Jenner. I do love her and follow her on Instagram, etc. However to buy her products is nearly impossible to get in South Africa, as well as I am not going to pay that much for a lipstick. I have drawn the line at MAC cosmetics until I can actually afford all these fabulous brands. Now fakeup Koko K does get things done and actually came with a Lip Liner, however it is very sticky and takes a while to dry. I have noticed that Lip Balm or some Lip Gloss does help with the stickiness and helps the lipstick stay on longer.


Now this gorgeous Copper Creme Shadow is the best thing I have bought off Wish. Was worth the wait and I did order some more. Waiting on the Rose Gold Kylie eye shadow and I can’t wait to try it out.

I still have a few lipsticks, eye shadow palettes and random fun makeup goodies coming that has me so excited. Just hope the rest will be as great quality as the things I have received thus far.


These brushes are non branded royalty, may I say they are amazing, soft, blends well and cost me not even R30 /$2.  They work well and made my life so much easier.

I am excited about this app and will keep using it even when I can afford the real deal. Just because you’re on a budget does not mean you have to save up for one product and not have the lipstick to match. For the love of expensive makeup and all things we can’t afford. Here is our gateway to heaven at a budget.